


Unravel the Moments

by lsdme



Category: Generation Kill, Supernatural
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-23
Updated: 2010-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-24 11:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/263187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lsdme/pseuds/lsdme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to <a href="http://l-s-d-me.livejournal.com/40365.html">Make It End Like We Wanted To</a>.  It's a few months after Nate met Dean in Boston; and now Nate, Ray, and Walt are on vacation in Oceanside when they run into the Winchesters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unravel the Moments

**Author's Note:**

> Complete fiction based off the character portrayals in Generation Kill and Supernatural. Also, without [](http://deedlit50.livejournal.com/profile)[**deedlit50**](http://deedlit50.livejournal.com/) and [](http://meeks00.livejournal.com/profile)[**meeks00**](http://meeks00.livejournal.com/) I would be crying in the corner right now and this would never have been finished. Title is based on “Tuning of Violins” by Darren Hayes.

Title: Unravel the Moments  
Author: [](http://l-s-d-me.livejournal.com/profile)[**l_s_d_me**](http://l-s-d-me.livejournal.com/)  
Fandoms: Generation Kill/Supernatural  
Rated: R  
Pairing: Nate/Dean, Nate/Brad, Ray/Walt  
Word Count: 9600  


  
When Nate visits Oceanside he rents the same house he and Brad used to stay in. He tells himself it’s because the house is familiar and he knows the area well, but his family knows it’s because of the memories.

What his friends and family don’t know is that while Nate still does think about Brad, loves him and always will, when he met Dean Winchester a few months back, everything changed. He no longer stays awake most nights just lying in bed, somewhere in between consciousness and unconsciousness, unable to rest. And his memories of Brad are no longer laced with pain.

It’s as if Nate Fick has a new life, one where he can remember freely and do whatever he please. Which is why he decided mid-semester to go for a week vacation. He doesn’t, however, know why he thought it was a good idea to call and tell Ray and Walt that they should come along too.

“Jesus Christ, LT, this was the best idea I’ve heard since Walty over there decided to give up his Barbie doll collection,” Ray yells from the patio.

“Quit calling me ‘Walty,’” Walt yells back from the kitchen. Nate then hears him mumble, “and it wasn’t a collection.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“It wasn’t a collection, Nate!” Brad’s face is red with embarrassment. A small personal triumph considering how many times Brad has made him blush.

“You’re right. Because having multiple copies of every Air Supply CD ever made _doesn’t_ constitute as collecting.” Nate laughs, kicking Brad a little underneath the kitchen table.

Brad ignores him as he gets up from the table to rinse his dish off.

“Oh come on Brad. Don’t be mad…don’t be all out of love, I’ll be so lost without you.” Nate can’t even say it with a straight face. So he walks over to where Brad is still at the sink, hugs him from behind and starts swaying back and forth singing, “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you; I know you were right believing for so long.”

He can feel Brad start to shake with laughter before he can hear him. Nate has his head laying on Brad’s shoulder, so when Brad turns his face, his blue eyes bright from laughing are right there smiling at him. Nate only has to move a little to meet Brad’s mouth.

Their kiss is soft; nothing more than a few presses of their lips against each other before Brad moves his hands to cover Nate’s in order to hold him closer.

“We need to get going soon,” Nate says as he lets go of Brad. They had been there for a couple days, and couldn’t get out of seeing the guys any longer.

Nate can hear Brad grunt with disapproval as he walks over to put his jacket on. “Want me to grab your jacket, Nate?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ray, come get your jacket. And quit yelling, you’re disturbing the neighbors,” Walt tries to quiet him even though it’s useless. Nate smiles over at Walt.

“We’re going to go and buy some food and beer. Do you want to come along, sir?”

“If you don’t stop calling me ‘sir,’ I’m going to make you and Ray find someplace else to stay. And no, you two go ahead, I’m going to go for a run.” Nate finishes as Ray walks into the room.

“Jeeze, LT, you can let evening PT slide just this one time,” Ray says, saddling up next to Walt.

“Ray, the only way I’m going to survive a week with you is if I run out my frustration. Now go on,” he points towards the door.

“Fine,” Ray pouts. “Come on Walt, I know when we’re not wanted.” Nate sees him interlace his fingers with Walt’s pulling him along.

“Who said anything about ‘we’?” Walt shoots back right before the door closes.

Nate’s face breaks into a grin as he walks over to grab his sneakers. He’s known them apart, and together, and thinks they’ve been good for each other. And it makes him happy to know that the people who have helped him in the last couple years are living their lives the way they want.

Those are his thoughts as he’s running.

He used to run with Brad, and in a way he still does. So as he’s running down through town he feels comforted by the night sky. But there’s a chill in the air that shoots down his spine, the same sort of feeling he’d get during combat.

Nate doesn’t know what it is until he turns the corner and sees two men fighting up ahead. He ducks into the shadows, but continues jogging up the street. There’s a man lying unconscious on the ground next to a car. Nate’s mind flips, he’s seen this car before. He tells himself it can’t be what he’s thinking.

When he looks back at the two men still fighting, he catches the dull glint of a blade before it disappears into the smaller man and he lights up like theirs some kind of electric current just under his skin. It flickers for a moment, glowing yellow before it abruptly goes out.

It’s then that Nate knows his first instincts were right. Winchester.

Nate doesn’t recognize the man standing there, but he does recognize the knife. He used it three months ago when Dean was in Boston. He’s felt the weight of it, seen the way it moves through the air. It’s impossible not to know exactly what it is even from this distance.

As he gets closer, it’s clear that the man laying on the ground is Dean. His eyes roam over his body quickly evaluating the injuries. From his distance nothing looks too bad, but he is unconscious and that’s never a good sign.

The distance is closing fast, so Nate slows his pace, remaining in the shadows. He sees the bigger man run over to Dean, dropping to his knees.

“Dean! Dean, wake up,” he sounds panicked. “Come on, man, look at me.”

There’s something in his voice and the way he moves that reminds Nate of Dean. He remembers Dean saying that he has a brother, and Nate hopes that for Dean’s sake that this is him.

Nate knows that there’s no time like the present, so he steps out of the shadows up to the pair.

“Hey, are you okay up here?” Nate asks cautiously.

“Uhh, yeah buddy, we’re fine. Thanks.” He has his hand resting on Dean’s arm, but he never looks away from Nate.

“I can see that you’re not,” nodding towards the body on the other side of the car. Nate sees him stiffen, clearly not realizing that Nate saw him take down that man. “I’m going to call 911 and report this body, then we need to get out of here.”

He tries to stop him, but Nate just puts his hand up to quiet him as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. The phone call only take a couple minutes.

“Okay,” Nate says, looking down at Dean. “I’d say we have about five minutes before they show up. You can bring him back to my place.”

“No offense man, but I don’t know you. Why don’t you just go on your way, and I’ll take care of my brother.”

Nate wouldn’t trust some random guy who had come upon him while fighting a demon either. But he can also see that Dean needs help, and he figures he needs to just go for it.

“Your name’s Winchester right?” he asks, moving a little closer. Just below his line of sight he sees the grip the brother has on the knife tightens. Nate lets his eyes drift down to it, his mind quickly works through the moves he’d have to do to get the knife out of his hand if it came to that.

But he doesn’t want it to have to come to that.

“Listen, I don’t know how you know my name,” his eyes scrutinizing. “But we can take care of ourselves, okay.”

Nate exhales, definitely seeing a family resemblance there. Nate doesn’t want to sound condescending, yet he wants him to know that he has nothing to worry about. He doesn’t know how to assure Dean’s brother that he’s trustworthy. Nate goes with the simple truth, because he‘s always found that works best.

“I’m sure you can, but I know him,” nodding towards Dean. “I helped him a few months ago in Boston. Trust me.”

Nate can see the question in his eyes still.

“Bobby. Call Bobby Singer, he set it up. Just tell him my name; it’s Fick, Nate Fick.” Nate notices his eyebrows twitch, maybe a faint recognition, before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He stands up, but still not moving away from Dean’s body.

Nate looks closer at Dean waiting for his brother to call Bobby. He’s definitely bleeding from a few places, and has a gash on his forehead; but his breathing looks even so Nate relaxes a little. He glances up, seeing Dean’s brother watching him with a curious look in his eye.

There’s no time to think about that.

“Yeah, Bobby. Hey it’s Sam.” So his name is Sam, Nate thinks. “Yeah, we’ve got a little situation here. But hey, do you know a guy named Fick?… yeah, Nate…okay… thanks Bobby.”

Sam hangs up the phone, and reaches out to shake Nate’s hand. “Sorry about that man, can’t be too careful,” Sam says, visibly much more relaxed.

Now that the atmosphere is less tense, Nate takes the time to really look at Sam. He’s built different than Dean is, and looks like he’s around Brad’s height, but it’s obvious to Nate that Sam and Dean have spent years in close proximity because they carry themselves the same way.

Nate remembers how Dean seemed hurt and confused by what his brother was doing when they were separated, and it’s easy to see why because they obviously have spent more time in each other’s company than your average siblings.

“I live a few miles up the road, why don’t we take Dean there,” Nate suggests as he bends down to pick up Dean’s feet as Sam lifts him from the shoulders. When they move Dean he moans, which means he will probably regain consciousness soon, but they still need to get off the street.

As Nate slides into the passenger seat of the Impala once more it looks exactly the same. There’s still a box of classic rock cassettes sitting there and a couple maps up on the dash.

“You sure it’s ok? There’s not anybody at your house that’s going to mind or be suspicious?” Sam questions him, tearing down the road.

“No, it’ll be fine. Turn at the next road,” he directs before glancing back at Dean still unconscious in the back seat. “I’ll figure out what to tell Ray and Walt.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“I’ll tell Ray and Walt, don’t worry,” Brad says, reaching over to take Nate’s hand. Nate squeezes his fingers in response, resting them both on his thigh.

They had only been back from Iraq for a few months and Brad had invited Ray to come over for barbeque since he was still hanging around. Ray insisted on bringing Walt into the house that Brad and Nate had been renting together for the past two months. Only they hadn’t told anybody that they were together yet.

“Don’t worry Nate,” Brad smiles over at him. “If those hicks don’t approve of this then they can go fuck themselves all the way back to their respective trailer parks.”

“I’m not worried, Brad.”

“Oh you’re not, huh? And that’s why you’re squeezing my hand like you just heard Encino Man call in arty on our location.”

Nate exaggeratedly lets go of Brad’s hand, pushing it back over to his side of the car. They both look at each other at the same time, bursting out with laughter as they pull into the drive.

“I just don’t want to mess anything up for you,” Nate starts, getting out of the car. “You’re still in the corps, I’m not, the consequences are different.”

“We’ve been over this Nate. Nothing is going to happen to me.” Brad is leaning against the trunk of the car now, waiting for Nate to snap out of it.

“Can we just take this food inside? It’s hot out here,” Nate says, pointing towards the trunk, which Brad is purposely blocking him from.

“I don’t think so, sir,” Brad smirks. “Not until you realize that a fuck-up like Ray Person knowing that you’re crazy about me isn’t going to be the end of the world.”

“And Walt?” Nate asks, completely giving up getting past Brad without sorting this out. He doesn’t really mind though. Nate always liked how straight forward Brad is; it’s one of the things that he first loved about him.

“He’s friends with Ray, so he automatically loses all credibility,” Brad says, pulling Nate closer to him. Nate can’t help but shake his head in amusement.

“So no more worries?”

“Fine. You win…but just this time!” Nate pokes him in the chest. He tries to narrow his eyes at Brad, but it’s completely overshadowed by the grin that’s tugging at the side of his mouth.

Brad mocks pain, grabbing his chest where Nate poked him. “Ouch, sir. Ouch.”

Nate rolls his eyes at him and leans forward to kiss the spot he just poked. “All better now?” he asks.

“Not quite,” Brad says, sliding his hands up to cup Nate’s face, pulling him in for a kiss.

It starts out sweet. Lips brushing against each other, enjoying the playfulness of the moment. And then Nate tightens his arms, brushing his tongue along the line of Brad’s mouth at the same time. He can hear Brad make an “mmm” noise before opening his mouth, his tongue meeting Nate’s.

“Oh my fucking God, please let me be the one to tell Hasser,” Ray yells from about three feet away from them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Please let me be the one to tell Hasser that you discovered a fucking Sasquatch on your run! I keep telling him that they are all over fucking Missouri and he never believes me.” Ray’s eyes are big as he stares at Sam taking up the entire doorway.

This is exactly what Nate wanted to avoid.

“Behave yourself Ray.” Nate rolls his eyes because this is Ray, and Ray will be Ray no matter what you say to him. “And don’t listen to him Sam; nobody else does.”

Sam huffs out a laugh. “It’s okay, man. I’m used to being around guys who stopped growing at thirteen.”

Nate and Ray start laughing at the same time. “Where did you find this guy, LT?” Ray asks, walking up to shake Sam’s hand.

“LT?” Sam quirks his head to the side. “You guys military?”

“We‘ve all been out for a couple years,” Nate answers. The look Sam is looking at Nate like puzzle pieces are beginning to fall together, but he still can’t see the picture. Nate is trying not to let it show on his face that he sees Sam trying to figure him out.

Nate turns to Ray who is standing there silently looking at Sam watching Nate. There’s a question in his eye that Nate can see is seconds from being blurted out; it causes Nate to cringe internally. Bringing them here probably wasn’t the best move, but Dean was hurt and well, it’s Dean.

“Sam why don’t you go check on Dean,” Nate urges him. “I’ll be up in a minute with some bandages.”

As Sam turns to go Walt is coming down the stairs looking confused, a look that only intensifies as he passes Sam.

“Does anybody want to tell me why there’s a man in Nate’s bed, and why I just passed a fucking Sasquatch on the steps?” He just stands in the doorway looking between Nate and Ray.

“Oh God,” Nate can’t help but hang his head at what this has become. He feels Ray clasp him on the back, letting out a high-pitched giggle.

“We’ll talk about this later you two,” Nate says, walking past Walt.

He can hear Ray behind him saying “get your ass over here, Hasser.” A laugh and then silence. Nate knew he should have scotch guarded the kitchen first. Hell, he probably should have scotch guarded the entire house to protect it from Ray. As he gets upstairs he hears a chair crash in the kitchen, and he doesn’t even want to know what’s going on down there.

Nate is in the bathroom getting supplies to clean Dean’s wounds when he hears voices across the hall coming from his bedroom. He knows it’s wrong, but he can’t help but still his movements so he can hear them clearly.

“Sammy, where are we?” Dean’s voice is scratchy and quiet.

“A place a few miles from where we ran across that demon.” Nate hears Sam answer. He can hear the trepidation in Sam’s voice, like he doesn’t want to tell Dean exactly whose house they’re in.

“A place? Sam this isn’t some run down abandoned building - this is somebody’s house,” his voice incredulous. “What aren’t you telling me, Sammy? What exactly happened after I got hit?”

Sam exhales, and Nate can’t hear anything for thirty seconds. He should probably just go in there and spare Sam the job of telling Dean where he is, but it’s been a long time since Nate has truly been interested in what someone else thinks about him that he stays where he is. In the quiet he can hear Ray and Walt talking and laughing from downstairs, maybe Ray is finally mature enough to not desecrate the kitchen while strangers are there. Maybe.

Nate doesn’t have time to think about it because Sam starts talking again, finally finding his voice.

“Well, right after I killed the demon, this man…,”

“Sam,” Dean cuts in abruptly, “ _How_ did you kill it?” Nate can practically feel the tension in Dean’s voice all the way across the hall. He wonders why Dean would be so tense about it. Of course Dean knows that Sam had the knife, how else would he have killed it.

“I used the knife.”

“So you didn’t…you know.” Dean doesn’t elaborate and Nate becomes even more confused. He’s missing something and he doesn’t know what it is, or what it could be.

“I told you, I don’t do that anymore Dean.” Sam sounds annoyed like they’ve had this conversation hundreds of times.

Nate realizes that their relationship is more strained than he thought.

“Alright Sammy. Now how did we end up here?” Nate tenses, he knows that Sam is about to tell Dean that they’re in his house. It’s going to hurt if Dean is angry, but he’s prepared for that because he knows that Dean probably never expected to see him again.

“After you went down a man came up and offered help. I know what you’re going to say, but he said he knew you.”

“SAM! That’s what all psychos say to get you to trust them. Didn’t they teach you anything in that college of yours?” Sam and Nate huff at the same time. It makes Nate smile to know that some things don‘t change. Dean still seems to think that all college does is lower your IQ.

“I called Bobby, he checks out.” Sam hesitates for a moment. “He says he met you in Boston, Dean.”

The silence coming out of the room is deafening.

“Boston? Na--. What…what is his name?” Dean’s voice has a slight edge to it.

“Nate. Nate Fick.” Sam says slowly. “Is he? Is it the Nate who helped you on a job for Cas?” Nate doesn’t need to be in the room to know that that question is loaded with more than just what he’s asking. He also knows now that when he suspected Sam might have had an idea who he was, he was right.

“Yeah Sammy, that’s him.”

Nate can feel his heart beating out of his chest. He looks into the mirror squaring himself. “It’s now or never,” he exhales to himself, crossing the hall to his room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“It’s now or never,” he exhales to himself, crossing the hall to his room.

When he pushes open the door the room is bright. Brad is still asleep with the sheets covering him just up to the bottom of his tattoo. It’s still early, but Nate likes to go running at sunrise so he can be back to see Brad like this. He loves how much younger and peaceful Brad looks when he’s sleeping.

Nate quietly walks over to the sleeping form in bed. Brad is lying on his stomach when Nate drapes his body over Brad’s, even covering his arms and intertwining their fingers.

“I heard you coming from down the street,” Brad mumbles, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“Shut up.” Nate’s smiling against Brad’s back, his head resting at the base of his neck. They lay there in the sunlight, slowly breathing against each other, just happy to be in each other’s company. Nate knows that he wants this for as long as he can have it, and he feels like Brad does too.

He had decided while jogging that he wanted something more permanent in his life. He wants to come home knowing that even if Brad isn’t there, that his possessions are and he will be as soon as he’s able. He wants Brad. Forever.

Nate slides off the top of Brad so that their faces are inches apart from each other. He’s still covering as much of him as he can.

“Brad,” he whispers. “Will you do something for me?”

“Always,” Brad says, eyes still heavy with sleep.

Nate smile is soft as he moves closer, putting his cheek on Brad’s so he can speak directly into his ear.

“Live with me,” he says barely above a whisper. “I want to know you’re with me even when you’re gone. Stay with me.”

He can feel Brad’s breathing change, it’s no longer the slow steady rhythm of sleep. Brad moves a little so he can wrap an arm around Nate, pulling him close.

“I’m surprised it took you this long,” Brad says as he runs his hand along Nate’s back. “When?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“When can we go?” Dean croaks as Nate pushes open the door.

The room is dark except for a lamp burning on the table, but Nate can see Dean clear as day lying in his bed.

As Nate walks further into the room their eyes meet. He can feel a smile twist as his lips at the sight of Dean staring up at him from the bed. Dean may be battered and bruised, but he still has those intense green eyes that drew Nate in from the minute he met him months ago.

“Hey Dean,” Nate’s standing at the side of the bed next to Sam, who is looking down and to the side, not looking at either man.

“Nate, it’s good to see you. What are you do-- ahhh shit.” Gripping his side in pain, they all suddenly realize that Dean is still hurt.

“Are you okay,” Sam steps forward, gripping Dean’s shoulder. The concern on his face tears at something in Nate’s gut. He finally realizes exactly how hard it must have been for both of them to be away from each other. It makes him think of Brad for a fleeting second. He just shakes his head, clearing the thought.

“Sam, there’s some pain killers in the kitchen cabinet by the sink, will you grab them? I’m going to clean some of these wounds.” Nate’s orders are clear. Sam blinks at him once and walks out of the room toward the downstairs. “Watch out for Ray and Walt,” Nate mumbles under his breath.

“What was that?” Dean asks, leaning forward to try and hear what Nate mumbled.

“Oh,” Nate grins full on at Dean. “Two of my friends are downstairs and you never know what they’ll do when left unsupervised.”

“And you just sent my brother into the lion’s den?”

Nate’s smile turns sheepish as he sets up the bandages and alcohol on the table. He just shrugs in response when he hears Dean’s soft laugh.

“Want me to help you with your shirt so I take a look at those cuts?”

Nate sees a slight hesitation in Dean’s eyes for a split second before he nods, sitting up. As Nate pulls up the hem of his shirt he can’t help but remember doing the same thing in the kitchen of his Boston home, and throwing it across the room.

Looking down at Dean’s bare torso all the thoughts of those days are removed by the bruised ribs and gashes looking back at him. He touches some of them gingerly, easing up when he hears Dean gasp.

“I don’t think anything is broken here,” Nate says before reaching over to get the alcohol and bandages.

“That’s a plus, doctor.” Dean’s eyes sparkle as he smiles at Nate.

“Shut up, Dean,” Nate shoots back without anything but humor behind it.

Nate is methodically cleaning Dean’s cuts when Sam comes back. He doesn’t look as harried as he did before, Nate’s sure Ray and Walt made him laugh while he was downstairs. That’s one of the reasons Nate likes having them, they’re good at lightening the mood no matter what.

Sam hands Dean the pills and water, looking over the job that Nate has been doing. He nods in approval, turning to Nate. “Those guys downstairs are insane,” he says smiling.

“You could say that,” Nate laughs out, continuing to go over Dean’s wounds.

“Sammy! Get your prima-donna ass back down here,” they hear Ray yell from downstairs. Nate rolls his eyes because if someone is going to simultaneously insult and befriend someone at the same time it would be Ray.

“Go for it Sammy,” Dean lets him off the hook.

As soon as he’s out of the room Nate turns back to Dean. “It’s hard to not like Ray; it’s unfortunate really.” Dean has a smile tugging at the side of his mouth, shaking his head a little in amusement.

“How do you know these guys anyway?” Dean asks. “They hunters?”

“No, I rode with them in Iraq. Ray Person is the craziest guy you’re likely to ever meet, but he has more heart than he wants you to know.” Nate whispers the last part like it’s some dark secret. “And Walt Hasser, well, how Walt ever ended up with someone as colorful as Person is beyond me.”

“Sounds like you know them pretty well.”

“I do. We know pretty much everything about each other; we’re brothers.”

“Yeah well not all brothers are that open,” Dean tries to say in a light tone, but Nate hears the strain behind it. He feels sorry for Dean and all the weight he is carrying on his shoulders. Nate had to protect his men, but Dean is trying to protect the entire world.

“It’ll be okay, Dean. I can see how much Sam cares about you.” Nate gently squeezes Dean’s wrist as he finishes talking. “He wouldn’t even let me near you when I came across you in the street,” his voice is soft.

The heat coming off Dean’s skin knocks a jolt through Nate. When Dean’s eyes flick down to the hand still holding his wrist, Nate realizes that he’s been making circles on his skin with his thumb; gently rubbing the soft area of his arm.

“Nate, I…,” Dean starts to say, but Nate doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to listen to Dean talk about how they can’t do this, whatever _this_ is. Nate knew going into it that Dean wasn’t the settling down type, he’s not expecting a thing.

He starts to slide his hand away when he feels Dean turn his wrist, running his fingers along Nate’s palm. His eyes close at the sensation.

“It’s good to see you, Nate,” Dean smiles up at him.

“Yeah, you too.”

When Nate walks downstairs an hour later the house is quiet. All the lights are out except the faint blue glow of the television screen lighting up the living room. About twenty minutes before, Sam had come back upstairs saying that he was going to go meet Castiel and tell him what they learned today. It took a lot of convincing to get Dean to agree to stay in bed.

As Nate walks past the couch he sees that Ray and Walt are fast asleep. Ray has his back to the television, facing Walt with his face resting against his chest. Walt’s arms are lightly wrapped around him, and Nate catches himself silently yearning to fall asleep like that with someone again.

He keeps walking though, pushing the door to the patio open. When the ocean air hits his lungs he feels himself being pulled away, unable to school his thoughts. With the night around him he sits down, leans back, and closes his eyes.

“I miss you,” Nate speaks out into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“I’ve missed you,” Nate says as he walks outside. Brad was waiting for him on the patio, lying in the sun with his shirt off.

Brad turns his eyes to Nate’s, smiling warmly at him. “Hey there.”

Nate can feel Brad’s smile and his eyes throughout his whole body. He’s never gotten over how beautiful Brad looks in the sunlight like this, his body golden.

“If you don’t drop your bags and get over here within the next two seconds you’re not going to like what happens, sir.”

His bags hit the ground, but Nate doesn’t move from his spot. “Is that so?” he says, quirking his eyebrow.

“Do you want to find out, Nathaniel?” Brad raises him.

“Well we wouldn’t want to start this off on the wrong foot,” Nate complies, moving towards him. He sees Brad tense, licking his lips as Nate slowly makes his way across the patio.

Brad reaches up to grab Nate’s arm, pulling him down to lay next to him. When Nate throws his arm over Brad’s side holding him close, he feels more at peace than he has for months.

“You smell like the ocean,” he whispers, running his nose along Brad’s collarbone. “Have you been out here all day?”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Have you been out here all night, LT?” Walt asks, shaking him awake.

“I guess I have.” Nate stretches glancing up at Walt, a little amazed at his ability to still sleep anywhere. The sun has only been up for a couple of hours, and the way the light reflects of Walt’s hair makes him look even younger than he already does.

“Don’t you have a birthday soon, Walt?” he asks.

“Yep! It’s just in a couple of --,”

“Hey baby, whatcha you doin’ out here,” Ray interrupts, popping up at his side. He slides his hand down the inside of Walt’s arm to let their hands touch.

“I’m just talking to the LT here,” Walt says with a nod towards Nate, who is still leaning back in the chair. “He slept out here.” Walt’s voice is full of disapproval.

Nate rolls his eyes. It never fails to amuse him how much they worry about his well-being even though he’s older than both of them.

“What?!” Ray squeaks. “You mean you didn’t crawl into bed and make that mysterious man who you’re so worried about feel all better? Well I’ll be damned, Walty! It looks like our little Natey here…”

“Don’t call me ‘Natey,’ Ray.”

“Jesus LT, ‘don’t call me sir, don’t call me LT, don’t call me _Natey_ ;’ How did Brad put up with your ass for so long?”

“Please don’t think about my ass.” Nate mumbles despondently.

“Fine, _Nate_. I just came to say that I made some breakfast, so get that _behind_ of yours in the kitchen right now and eat it. Sir.”

He exhales, pushing himself up from where he was laying. Ray always did know how to end a conversation, Nate thinks. He doesn’t realize how hungry he is until he is halfway to the kitchen and the smell of coffee and food hits him.

“Mmm, God Ray that smells delicious,” Nate moans, looking over his shoulder to smile at him.

“Yeah yeah yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Ray’s pushing Nate from behind into the kitchen. When they come around the corner Nate is face to face with Dean, who is leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands.

Nate freezes, unsure of what to do exactly. Part of him feels the draw to reach out and touch Dean because he’s standing there in those jeans and t-shirt that look so good on him. And he’s brazenly holding eye contact, not allowing Nate to look anywhere else but at him, despite the two guys who just started rustling around the kitchen. But the other half wants to keep his distance because Nate knows that this thing between them, whatever it is, is not something Dean can have right now.

“Morning,” Dean breaks the silence. His voice sounds stronger than it did last night, sending the tension Nate was holding out of his body.

“Good morning,” Nate smiles at him shyly. He can see Ray out of the corner of his eye watching their every move. Walt has his back turned to them; he’s not doing anything, not helping Ray finish up breakfast, not making coffee, just giving them as much privacy as he can.

“I’m glad to see you’re looking better this morning than you were last night. Did you sleep well?” Nate knows he’s making small talk, but he doesn’t know what to say.

“Yeah I did. I haven’t slept in a bed that nice since, well…,” he drifts off, looking Nate up and down.

Nate hears Ray whispering furiously at Walt. He catches the phrases, “have they?!” and “get it, LT!” Nate clears his throat, shooting Ray a look before moving to sit down.

“Ignore them,” Nate mouths at Dean.

“I heard that!” Ray practically yells at them, setting down eggs, pancakes, and bacon on the table.

“Walt, can’t you at least try to control your Suzie Rottencrotch?” Nate asks, winking at Dean. Dean’s face stills a little before a slow smile spreads across his lips, reaching his eyes.  
Ray is beaming at Nate when Sam strolls into the kitchen.

“Hey there, Sammy, ready for some fine Midwest cookin’?” Ray asks. “I think your brother is already _getting some_ but it’s still hot.”

Dean chokes on his coffee. Nate notices a slight blush at the back of his neck appear.

“ _Ray_ ,” Walt warns, giving him the best you-better-behave-yourself look.

“I didn’t say anything, Hasser.”

Nate can’t believe this is happening. Well, actually he can because it’s Ray, but he never thought this _would_ happen. He doesn’t remember getting this much trouble from him while he and Brad were together. But then that probably had something to do with the fact that if anybody could control Ray it was Brad.

He does not, however, want Ray going off about himself and Dean Winchester.

It’s quiet for all of six minutes as they all dig in to the food Ray made. Nate is sitting at the end of the table with Dean next to him. When he slides down in his seat, full from eating so much, his foot hits Dean’s. Nate doesn’t want to presume anything, so he slowly pulls it back, removing himself from Dean’s space.

Dean looks up at him, holding a fork full of pancake. He raises an eyebrow, before stuffing it all in his mouth at the same time he slides his foot out, purposely touching Nate’s.

Nate smiles brightly at him, unable to help himself. When he sticks his tongue out to lick stray syrup off the corner of his mouth he feels Dean’s foot slide further along his.

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Ray mumbles from the other side of the table, followed by Walt hitting him on the back of the head.

“Ow Walter!”

“You guys,” Nate scolds them in his best Officer voice, both of them shutting up immediately. “Finish your breakfast.”

It’s Sam who talks first. He starts laughing, looking back and forth between Ray and Walt and where Nate is sitting. Ray looks affronted. “What the hell are you laughing about, Sassy?”

“Well it’s just that…,”

“I can’t believe you just answered to ‘Sassy.’” Dean grumbles from next to him, causing them all to choke laughing on their food.

“You’re such a jerk,” Sam says, still laughing.

Dean huffs, “bitch.”

“It’s just that you guys are hilarious.” Sam begins again, “you two listen to Nate like he’s your mother making sure you have your lunches for school.”

“He’s the best mommy ever,” Ray makes kissing noises at Nate. All he can do is smile and shake his head.

“You got a father around here I haven’t seen yet?” Sam ruffles Ray’s hair.

As soon as the words are out of Sam’s mouth, Ray, Walt, and Nate’s smiles falter. Walt reaches out to hold Ray’s hand, and Nate just silently sips his coffee.

The awkwardness last for only a moment though, Nate’s not even sure if Sam noticed. Dean looks at Nate with a little bit of sorrow mixed in the smile that has been in his eyes. Nate is setting down his coffee cup when he feels Dean grip his knee, squeezing it reassuringly. It only takes a second for Nate to move his hand to the top of Dean’s, gently interlacing their fingers.

“Y’all got any plans today?” Walt asks Sam and Dean.

“Nah,” Sam answers. “We are heading up to Washington tomorrow though.”

Nate is sitting there watching the exchange with curiosity. He doesn’t know what Walt is getting at; if he was trying to change the subject for his sake, all their sake’s really, or what. Ray and Walt look at each other, smile, nod, and then Ray slaps a hand on the top of the table.

“Sweet tities on a blow-up doll, Sammy, you’re fucking coming with us today.” Ray yells, hitting Sam on the back.

“What are you guys doing?” Sam looks at him wearily.

Ray shrugs, “like I fucking know. Deano down there needs to recuperate anyway.”

Nate could kiss Ray right now. He’s trying not to show it of course, but they know as well as anybody that his emotionless Officer face is just a mask. Walt’s practically beaming at him from the opposite end of the table.

“Y…yeah, okay.” Sam looks at Dean, who is also trying to look like he’s not the least bit interested in what they’re doing. “You gonna be good, Dean?”

“I’m fine, Sammy. I just need to relax, straighten out some of these ribs.” Dean touches his side where there is a large bruise for emphasis.

“Great. Let’s hit it,” Ray jumps up, pulling Walt with him. “Get your white-bread ass out of that chair Samuel.”

“I’d listen to him, Sam,” Nate advises. “You don’t want Ray Person on your ass; you’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Walt! Write down today’s date as the day Nate told somebody to do what I tell them to.” Walt just rolls his eyes at him, pushing him towards the door behind Sam. “Have a good day, LT,” Walt says, winking at him as he rounds the corner out of the kitchen.

Dean has just been sitting there with his mouth hanging open for the last few minutes, watching the sideshow that is Ray. When he looks back at Nate, Nate busts our laughing.

“You get used to it,” he jokes. “Then you love it. And then you realize that your life was boring before you met him.” Nate stands to begin clearing off the table.

“So what did you want to do to today?” Nate asks, setting the dishes in the sink. When he turns around, Dean is only a couple feet from him, a predatory look in his green eyes. Even with Dean leaving soon, and with the very real possibility of never seeing him again, Nate can’t resist. Nate smirks, moving his arms to grasp the belt loops on Dean’s pants, pulling him hard against his body.

“Oh I’ve got a few ideas,” Dean says, grabbing as much of a fistful of Nate’s hair as he can.

Four hours later Nate came stumbling out of his bedroom on his way to the bathroom. He couldn’t hear anything so he supposed that everybody else was still out. Nate thought that he was going to have to do something really nice for Ray for clearing out of the house for the afternoon.

When he flipped the light on in the bathroom he got the first glimpse of his body. He looked a little flushed, but happy, and his eyes were bright green. His eyes roamed his torso, arms, back; Nate could easily see where Dean had bit and sucked his way around his body.

He felt and looked alive. Really alive.

Nate could hear a ringing noise through the door. His cell phone was downstairs and set to some obnoxious song that Ray had somehow managed to get on there without his knowledge. The ringing must be coming from Dean’s phone.

Opening the bathroom door, he can hear Dean’s low voice float through to him.

“Cas, yeah, I know.” Dean sounds defeated. “We’re leaving in the morning…I know that! Fine.”

It’s funny how almost a whole day after standing in the same spot, not wanting to barge in on Dean in his own bedroom, he’s here again wishing Dean’s life could be simpler. That all their lives could be simpler.

Nate is leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom lost in thought when Dean comes out of the bedroom wearing nothing but his jeans. He smiles apologetically at Nate. But Nate knew who Dean was before he got here, and the life he leads. Nate steps forward into Dean, kissing him. It’s soft in comparison to their earlier activities, but still filled with heat. It’s all tongues and lips as Nate pushes him back against the wall, hitching one leg up to wrap around Dean’s hip.

“You do realize that neither one of you would live this down if it had been Ray or Sam who had come up here instead of me,” Walt says from the top of the stairwell.

Both Nate and Dean turn their heads to face Walt. He’s got a slight blush on his cheeks, but just keeps staring at them, waiting for one of them to say something. Nate still has his leg up around Dean, and Dean is still holding it there, both of them realizing it’d be silly to try and pretend they weren’t just dry humping each other in the hall.

“Did you want something, Walt?” Nate asks, amusement in his voice.

“Yeah, Ray made some food if you two are hungry,” he says. Nate can hear him mumble as he turns to walk down the steps, “you’re probably fucking starving after that.”

Nate huffs a laugh, disengaging himself from Dean.

“I am pretty hungry,” he says while walking into the room to put on more than the boxer briefs he’s currently wearing. “How about you?”

Dean looks over at him incredulously. “Remember who you’re talking to here,” Dean replies, shrugging a shirt on. “I wonder if there’s pie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“I wonder if there’s pie,” Brad stretches as he walks down the steps.

“I’m sure there’s pie, Brad.” Nate says as he squeezes Brad’s shoulders, walking down behind him. “After all, Ray is making this dinner to ‘give thanks for our gay ass love.’ So there better be pie.”

Brad stops at the bottom of the steps, turning to face him.

“Our gay ass love!? What about him? I swear to God, Allah, and every other holy fucker out there that I saw him and Walt going at it in the hallway.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They were going at it in the hallway,” Walt is saying to Ray when they enter the kitchen.

Dean clears his throat, and Nate just raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Walt shrugs, “I said it was good that they didn’t see it, not that I wasn’t going to tell them.”

“I’ve taught you so well,” Ray wipes away fake tears, pretending like he’s holding back more.

Maybe Nate is going to have to rethink that present idea he had earlier.

“Where’s my brother at?” Dean asks, moving to sit down in the same chair he sat in during breakfast.

“Oh, we left him with some Romanian whore down on the boardwalk who said that she wanted to see what it was like to blow a giant.” Ray turns just in time to see Dean’s eyes go wide, and to see Nate double over with laughter, using one hand on Dean’s shoulder to steady himself.

Walt walks forward, shoving Ray off to the side. “He left to go meet somebody named Cat…no that’s not right, Cattails?”

“CASTIEL! You moron,” Ray says, sitting down at the table.

Nate and Dean look at each other. Nate can see the confusion on his face because he had just talked to Castiel not ten minutes before.

“Oh Jesus. You two just made sweet sweet love for hours, can’t you put off the eye-fucking until later, after I’ve had my pie?” Ray blurts out.

“Pie?!” Dean’s mouth breaks into a grin. “I’m going to call Sammy first, I’ll be right back.”

Once Dean is out of the room, Ray and Walt practically swoop down as close to Nate as they can get. “Sweet Jesus, LT, how are you even walking right now?” “Did you know him before?” “I bet you showed him how real Marines do it.” “I can see a hickey right below the collar.” “I bet he has tons we can’t even see, Walt.”

Nate had been waiting for this to happen. He’s never met a bigger group of gossipers than Marines. He knows it’s only a matter of time before Ray tells Poke, and Poke tells Gunny, and Gunny calls Nate to see how he’s doing.

“Listen you two, I met Dean a few months ago in Boston. I helped him out with some things, and I haven’t seen him since.” But they’re still sitting there, eagerly waiting for more. “That’s all there is to it,” Nate says with finality.

Ray pouts at him, getting up. “All there is to it, my ass.”

“Looked like a lot more than that to me in the hallway, Nate,” Walt says, smiling over at him. “You know that me and Ray just want you to be happy. We know how much Brad meant to you, meant to all of us.”

His smile softens as he listens to Walt talk.

“I know, Walt. Truthfully I do like him, and I kind of missed him,” Nate confesses. That’s the problem with Walt. Nate can’t help but be completely honest with him, a fact that Ray knows and likes to use to his advantage.

They’re all just standing there looking at each other with a new shared understanding on their faces when Ray yells, “So I said, ‘no I will not take my pants off in the middle of the White House.’” There is confusion on Nate’s and Walt’s faces for a split second before Dean turns the corner. Nate grins at Ray, silently thanking him for changing the subject before Dean got back in the room. “You’re such a messed up hick,” Walt reaches back, punching him in the arm.

Ray pats Walt on the shoulder, forcing him to get up and help him out.

“Sam’s fine,” Dean takes his spot next to Nate at the table. “He said he’ll be back later and that he wants to make sure we leave some food for him to eat.”

“He loves me and my cookin’,” Ray sings out.

“I don’t know how you do it, man. He’s more likely to eat a salad than any of the stuff you’ve been making.” Dean points out to Ray, becoming more and more relaxed with them. Nate notices the change and quietly squeezes his thigh under the table.

“That’s fine Midwest cooking for you there, Deano,” Ray says, setting down food in front of him.

“You know,” Dean starts, “we’re from Kansas. Sam’s probably just feelin’ his roots.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you two!” Ray beams at him at all of them as he sits down to eat. “I’m from Missouri, and even convinced young Walt here to live there with me.”

It always makes Nate smile that Walt actually agreed to move to the-middle-of-nowhere-Missouri to be with Ray. He’s sure Ray would’ve moved to Virginia, or wherever the hell else Walt wanted to go, but there’s something sweet about Walt living there with him. A fact that Nate will never share with Ray, but maybe Walt one day.

The meal passed in relative peace. They all ate and laughed, telling each other far-fetched stories about the places they’d been until night fell and it was just Nate and Dean left at the kitchen table. Ray and Walt had wondered off a couple hours before.

Nate is talking about the day he joined the Marines when Sam comes in. He looks tired as he drags his feet into the kitchen.

“You look like hell man,” Dean points out bluntly. “Where have you been all night?”

“Why don’t you sit down, Sam. I’ll get you something to eat.” Nate says, standing up.

“No, man, I can’t let you do that.”

“Sit down, Sam,” Nate pulls out a chair, standing there pointedly until he gives up and sits down.

Nate can hear them talking quietly together. He gathers that Sam had been at the library after he left Castiel, but he doesn’t know what he was researching there, or if that was the only place he’d been. And then he realizes that he doesn’t want to know. Nate’s life since he last saw Dean has been happier and more peaceful than it had been in nearly three years. He’s no longer worried about Brad or getting revenge. He can’t go back to worrying about demons or the end of the world. He doesn’t want to.

“I’m going to head upstairs,” he says, setting the food down in front of Sam.

“You don’t have to go,” Dean’s looking up at him from his chair. “Sam knows that you know about all of this.”

“That’s alright,” Nate grips his shoulder. “I’m going to let you guys catch up.” Dean reaches up and squeezes his hand once before Nate turns to leave.

He walks past the patio door, pulling it closed before heading to his room.

It’s dark as he closes the door behind him. Nate shucks off his shirt, throwing it into the hamper, before removing his pants and lying them over the chair. The room is quiet as he crawls into bed, but as he settles the noises around the house start to come out more.

Nate can hear Ray and Walt in the next room. If he was making any noise at all he wouldn’t be able to hear a thing because they’re being so quiet. But in the silence he can hear the unmistakable noise of them having sex. He can hear their uneven breathing and the slight movement of the bed against the wall.

The part that sticks with him is that he can hear Ray muttering to Walt. “Walt…Walt…oh my God…I love you so much…Walt… I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“I love you… I’ll love you forever,” Nate says into Brad’s mouth.

“I bet you say that to all the guys after you have sex with them,” Brad breathes out, his tongue chasing his words into Nate’s mouth.

“You caught me. It’s my line,” Nate jokes. “I wait until you’re blissed out and then I tell you that I love you for the _millionth_ time, just to see what you’ll do.”

“Nate,” Brad stops kissing his neck, readjusting them so they’re laying side by side. “Go to sleep.”

Nate snuggles up against him, resting his head on Brad’s chest. They’re both covered in sweat and sticky, but neither of them cares. Other than waking up against him, this is the favorite part of Nate’s day.

Brad’s breathing slows and evens out, but he’s still tracing his hand up and down Nate’s back. Nate smiles against his chest, placing a soft kiss there and tightening his arms around him.

“I thought you were asleep,” Brad whispers.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I thought you were asleep,” Dean whispers, closing Nate’s bedroom door behind him.

“I was,” Nate whispers back, afraid to break the spell of night. “I was dreaming.”

He can see Dean smile at him as he walks up to the bed. “Can I…?” Dean asks, motioning awkwardly to the bed.

Instead of answering, Nate holds his hand out to Dean. As he takes it, Nate pulls him towards him, forcing Dean to lay down next to him. Nate turns on his side to face him, and he notices again how Dean’s green eyes tend to shine brighter at night.

“Did you and Sam get everything sorted out?” Nate can feel Dean wrap his arm around him to pull him close before he answers.

“Yeah, we’re going to leave early in the morning.”

“Okay,” Nate breathes out, closing his eyes.

When the sun comes through the window in the morning they’re still sleeping in the same position. Nate is under the blankets, resting on Dean’s chest; and Dean is still fully clothed with an arm draped around Nate. It might be the most chaste moment that has ever happened between them.

Nate wakes up, stretching against Dean’s body. He breathes deep, letting the smell of Dean float through his head before opening his eyes.

“Good morning,” Dean whispers as he tightens his arms around Nate.

He raises his head and slides up to kiss Dean. Nate kisses him lazily. He loves kissing first thing in the morning, it always seems more meaningful to him somehow.

“Come on,” Nate breaks the kiss. “I’ll put some coffee on.”

They’re only downstairs for about fifteen minutes before everyone else makes it downstairs. Ray and Walt are wearing matching tank tops and jeans. (“He wouldn’t change, even after he saw me,” Walt said.), and Sam looks much more rested than he had the night before.

“You guys heading out this morning?” Walt’s asking Sam next to the coffee pot.

“As soon as I get the car packed.” Sam tells him. “I’d love to stay though; I could stay here forever.”

“Aww, you’re going to miff wus, Sammy-wammy?” Ray pouts at him, talking like a baby.

“Well maybe not you, but definitely your boyfriend,” Sam says, waggling his eyebrows.

Ray’s jaw drops. “He’s mine!” Ray yells after Sam who took off to grab his stuff after winking at Walt just to mess with Ray.

Dean’s shaking his head, laughing to himself as he walks after Sam to help him out.

“I can’t believe you’re letting them leave, LT!” Ray walks up to Nate, punching him in the arm.

“They probably just can’t stand to be around you anymore, Ray.”

Ray rolls his eyes, not even bothering to go back and forth about it. He just goes over, leans against Walt, and drinks his coffee. Nate thinks he looks disappointed. He probably is since in Sam he’s had a new plaything these past two days.

It doesn’t take long for Sam and Dean to get their stuff together. They both only had a duffel bag a piece anyway.

Before Sam leaves, Ray jumps on his back and tells him that if he’s ever in Nevada, Missouri he should look them up, but only if he keeps his hands off of Walt. After saying goodbye to Dean, Ray and Walt disappear, leaving Nate and Dean alone.

“Thanks for everything, Nate,” Dean says, suddenly a little bashful. Nate thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.  
“Take care of yourself,” Nate tells him, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling him into a kiss. When their lips meet it feels like the last time they were in this position; Dean leaving, neither of them knowing if they’d ever see each other again.

“Remember what I told you,” Nate whispers to Dean before he walks out the door.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 _then_

“Remember what I told you,” Nate says to him, standing on the stoop outside his home in Boston.

“I will, Nate.” Dean grabs his fingers, intertwining them.

“I’m serious. When you’re done with this, if you’re _ever_ done with this, find me. I know you’ll be able to.”

“I swear. If the world doesn’t end we’ll do everything.” Deans says, turning to get into his car. “Hell,” he yells back to Nate, “I’ll even go surfing with you.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you guys want to go surfing?” Nate asks after finding Ray and Walt on the patio.

They all look at each other, each of them raising an eyebrow as a form of challenge.

“Let’s do this,” Walt bites first.

“I can’t believe you just gave in so fast, Hasser,” Ray looks disappointed, but his eyes are laughing with them. “We need to send you back to SERE.”

“Boys, play nice.” Nate grins to himself as he goes into the house to change and grab their boards, thinking that this vacation was definitely a good idea.


End file.
